Blue Monday

Well another Monday gone. I Went into work, know that I would have some type of trouble with the stage and crank up stands. Of course the crank up stands didn't go in place like it should, but we finally got it! Thanks to Matt. His the Man! just gotta get that out especially if he reads this later on. I'm kinda proud of my self. I start P90x again. I really going to make myself stick with it this time. I'm ready to be back in shape and start taking control of my life. I guess, I always been a leader. Not to say I like it all the time. That was random... I know, but i'll get into more detail later on that subject. Once I get all my thoughts out on that. I guess the next thing to do is find a good women, or have one find me. There was the very attractive girl, at big sky. I should have got her number, but I feel that it's too early to start anything are start looking. beside there is this great girl I know with once big flaw.

peace.

Sunday

Well today was very laid back. I'm happy I didn't have to drive anywhere :). Tomorrow I'll be very busy with work. I need to start finishing off my paper work. It almost time to put in action my new years resolution. Next year I want to stop smoking. I didn't that much, like I said I was very relaxed. I clean my kitchen table off and I want to start adding decoration, flower and pictures to the house to get that more homey vibe. I need to save some money to start saving money get  some surrounded sound in this house. I ready to get this place bumping, oh  and add some lights lol.

Later peps

Wired, Sun

I got a lot of ideas to rearrange the house. I don't know why I don't have the drive or the energy to do what what i want. I had a long night but i slept enough.... I think, anyway. I'm bored but i don't feel like going anywhere. There so many things i could be doing... hmmm anyway. I thought I write something. I miss my son.... but can't fix it.

later

And the Missing starts

Well it's the first day officially that Lil and Ry are gone. I miss Ry, and I kinda miss waking up at 6 to get him up and ready..... anyway, i'm sad, but I know I'm doing the right thing. Just the fact that it's Christmas time and I want him to have a Christmas with me. I wish me and Lil worked out, but she has an excuse about everything in her life. It was bring me down. Right now I feel like I can't get ahead and everything is falling apart around me. Wow do I starting to feel like a big failure.... I hope I can start overcoming my mistake and start getting back to where I was. I guess time will tell.

peace...

Well it happen again.

Well after not that much talking but arguing. Lil deicide to leave the house with Ry. Which totally suck bc they don't have a place to stay. It suppose to freeze tonight. I'm am worry about him. I hope he is okay and sleep well some where safe. I don't know what is wrong with lil. I try to talk to her. Every point I make has some excuse to it or some remark that really is reasonable. I don't know what to do, but if i stay with her I will be in a place or a situation I don't want to be in.

God Please take care of Ry and LIl. Keep them warm and safe.

Peace.

Morning!

Well my weekend was okay, and everything went well besides changing projectors for the cheap trick concert. I still having arguments with Lil and she still acts like a kid. I don't know what to do with her yet. I'm hoping I have some cash coming in so i can save some and buy Christmas presents this week.  I have to finish cleaning house today to.  Man!!! Am I still lazy and want to stay in bed... yawn.....x2... lol. anywany just thought I'll post something up here. Christmas program is this week; not sure if i'm working it or not. hopefully not. I need to workout this morning too.

See Ya

Out till 3am and up @ 6am

Well here we go again; another day without much sleep. I still have a lot to do today. The good news is that I think and I hope i found something I  enjoy again (music)! I really lost interest in playing the guitar and singing ever since my finger got f* up. Im still angry that I can't play that great bc of my finger, but hell if a guy with only 3 fingers can play the keyboard and kick as$. there is really no excuse for me. I guess I really don't want anything bad enough or don't have a desire for getting it. Like i said I hope that changes. Im ready for a change and find the passion for playing music.

Just up!!!

Well I have been up since 4 this morning. I couldn't sleep and i'm starting to feel the effects of only sleeping 5 hours... wait.. that's not to bad.  Anyway. Yesterday was a bust. I figured my gf would have money after paying off her credit cards. Turns out she owes 7 grand in a car note and has to start paying her mom back for money she owes her. Which wouldn't be to bad if she was playing her mom like 200 bucks a month. Anyway long story short,  she doesn't have enough money to help me out with our kid or the house utilities. For the pass year, or longer.... probably when i met the girl I have been paying for everything....... The bad part is I don't even know if i want to be with this girl. This isn't really the person I thought I would spend my life with. She has great qualities, and some bad of course. I guess I'm just going to have to be a money Notzie, because I haven't been keeping up with finances like I suppose to.